Ode to my other half.
Recently, I'd been asking Carlos for some inspiration, ideas on what to write about next. He was insisting 'Why don't you write about me your lovely husband?' I know he was just trying to be silly and sometimes he is such a true narcissist -always in a funny way- but then I thought why not! It's obviously impossible to try and put together the sum of so many emotions, so I will try and keep it simple. Agapi, I hope you are happy with minimal.
Carlos is the type of person that will get you flowers on his own birthday. He will send you flowers at work to cheesily embarrass you in front of your colleagues and he doesn't like formularised concepts; the obvious kind of thing. He thinks it's passé. That's actually his favourite word recently. He is even using it for cooking 'Agapi, how would you like your pasta today, passé?' Funny it doesn't even make sense. But this is who we are together. We invented our own language, a mix of pre-existing English, Spanish and Greek words along with some new words we conceived ourselves. [...] 'And we somehow get through the slow days and the busy days and the dull days and the hateful days and the rare days, all both so delightful and so disappointing because we are so alike and at the same time so different'. [C. Bukowski, Gamblers All]
This is how I feel about us two. We are so unlikely different, yet so alike. His manners are every so often doing my head in. He can be rude, loud and misunderstood to others, but not to me. I get him just fine. He speaks his mind, often in an almost reckless fashion that can recurrently be misinterpreted. When we initially got introduced, the very first thought that came to my mind was 'Who the heck is this rude crank' -literally after four words- yet he proved me wrong. Was it love at first side, I don't know. I never believed in that concept. The truth is, after those four words I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards me. We held each other until the next morning and before we separated ways he saved his number on my phone while making sure I was safe in my own bed. Has the alcohol-and-memory-loss effect ever occurred to you? Only happened to me twice and the one out of those two times, was the day we met. Damn shame!
We never missed a day from each other's life since. Somehow we became inseparable. Scary, considering how up until that moment both of us had been alone for quite some time. Scary because of how vulnerable we'd suddenly become. Loving someone does that to you. You instantaneously have something to lose. We had that something in common though, we felt that being together at all times was the natural thing to do. A few of the things that brought us even closer: acceptance, trust and honesty. There is no point in trying to find your alter ego out there, your twin flame or mirror soul, someone that would like exactly what you fancy, or would think similarly as you. Acceptance is the key to our relationship. Understanding that as individuals we are dissimilar except not incompatible and begin to love and learn how to live with each other's flaws. Embrace the glorious mess that we, human are.
He is not the perfect husband as he funnily claims. We are born to be real, not perfect. And I would be lying if I were to say that every day in our life feels like heaven. Sometimes, what makes life feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven. Expectations are a real pain! All those little beautiful things around us ain't necessarily perfect, but for sure every step we take we are trying to be ourselves and do our best. What makes Carlos such a good partner is the fact that thinking about spending every single day with him for the rest of my life, sharing thousands of meals together, being my travel companion for a few more hundreds of trips and my forever friend until retirement -if we are lucky enough- doesn't sound like a bad plan. Quite the opposite. So he must be doing a fair bit of things right. And every day is simply perfectly splendid!
He already shows signs of what a great father he will be one day. Loving, affectionate, caring. He takes care of everything and on a side note he's also bearing with my rage hormones without complaining. I can't stand myself most of these days so monster-me must be bringing out the hero in him. He is always present whether in silence or not and this is what matters to me the most. I know I am not an easy person to deal with, and him thinking the best of me makes me love him a little bit more every day. Adding on extra qualities, we all know how deeply relaxing it feels when someone plays with your hair -and how boring it is being the giver. I probably found the only person on earth that never gets tired of it. He can go on forever. Who said I am not lucky.
Closure: I could keep on writing forever. But writing about you made me realise I would never be able to put in written how much you mean to me, so I will leave it at that. Yesterday you predicted my next thought and you couldn't be any prouder! You wrote a message while I was preparing dinner to prove it and waited patiently for my first sentence to receive recognition. So now we are officially one of those couples who read each other's thoughts or finish each other's sentences. At the end of the day, isn't that what we all hope for [...] To find someone that speaks our language so we don't have to spend a lifetime translating our spirit?